dream
I woke from a nightmare and I laid in bed with that nightmare swirling inside me for a long time. Eventually the alarm went off and I rolled over to my daughter staring down at me with a smile. A worry washed over me because I wanted her morning to be the best morning it could be so I plastered on a smile of my own.
I asked her if she wanted to do yoga, and she agreed. She'd even made her own yoga video just for me the day before and I began to wake up knowing she'd worked so hard on it. The nightmare had given me nausea so I choked a little on my medication, but it kicked in and my stomach ached was cured with it.
I eyed my tarot cards, I don't always do tarot in the morning, but I needed their reflection today. I laid out the cards in front of me and found the Six of Wands sat between the Queen of Cups and the Ace of Wands. They were cards that set me free from the nightmare. My daughter and I played our favorite Roblox game together and we laughed when her character glitched spectacularly.
I sat down at my desk for work and wrote, "Just call! You got this <3". My day job is all about helping people on the phone. As hard as it's been to learn about medical terminology and the medical world on the fly, I'm reminding myself I'm pretty good at it.
Sometimes it's scary to push myself into uncomfortable positions. For a long time I felt lost, drowning in something I wasn't qualified for. But that wasn't true fully, I was warm and kind and patient and good at resources and quickly absorbing knowledge.
Perhaps nightmares haunt me at times, but I'm in the process of building the dream.