made for this
The constant back and forth within me is the question that begs, "Was I made for this?"
Was I created to feel this struggle and hold up this heavy life? Was I made to parent alone with a fulltime job? Was I made to care for the two sweetest cats in the universe? Was I made to be so lucky, and yet doomed to a life I was forced to leave?
I'm down on my hands and knees kissing this island I'm on. I look over my shoulder and see the rowboat. It's the five of swords but the man is gone and the child is with me in this life experience.
Of course, I'm Leo and a storyteller, and so I stay on social media for my life to be observed. Although, I have learned to be a little more private than before. It's just in my nature to show the world my vulnerabilities and the lessons I'm learning as go.
Was I made for this? Was this the plan no one informed me of? Actually, I don't want know. I'm tired of sitting numbly in the past. I'd rather look forward and leave my resentment behind.
I may or made not have been made for this, but I sure as hell will learn how to thrive in this place. For my child, I will break these curses and forge a better path so that the generations after me might walk more easily.