nine of swords
I want to remember this moment.
This lack of sleep. The way my brain doesn't want to move forward. The fears and insecurities. The responsibilities that are stacking on top of each other one by one. The headache around my eyes because I need new glasses. The dentist on the list in my phone. The aches and pains when I wake in the morning.
A metaphorical earthquake destroyed my life last year. Now, brick by brick, I'm rebuilding. If I stop to look up and study the work of my hands I'm finally realizing that I just might be able to do this.
So many times I have sat in bed like the nine of swords to rub my face and think on my anxieties. But now, just like the sun card, I'm waking up in the morning noticing the light of the sun that brightens the sky blue. I'm dragging myself from bed and taking each heavy step to collapse onto the floor of my living room. I lift my heavy hand to pick up the remote and scroll to find my favorite yoga instructor.
Then, I'm doing yoga. I'm taking my medication. I'm drinking a proteien drink and a eating a bannana and drinking water. My head is clearing and my body is becoming more fluid.
I'm telling my body it's safe to start the day and I know not every problem is gone, but I think I just might be able to eventually solve them all.
I think the wheel of fortune card is a slow turn, but it's turning in my favor.